Seeking the shortest way out..

yes i want to seek the shortest way out..i got no motivation to do anything alr..can anyone who took the module on retail entrepreneurship sell me their solutions to case study 1???!!! its unlike me..but i hate to concentrate at this moment..

My hands are itchy, I typed those letters, I clicked the link, I went deeper, I saw the photos, I cried, I screamed, I thought, I hit, I threw, I scolded, finally I stopped. cos’
…………………. I HATE U!…………..

I promised to let u see me today..but it may be the last time. U may not realise or know..but now im telling u, im super de-moralized n disappointed each day already. u nv realise how’s e feeling like when i wake up each day, without settling problems on e previous days n yet more problems coming up in the next few days. U nv noe how tiring it is n how hurtful it is. U will nv noe..unless u experienced it.. Forgo those memories, forgo wad future trips to bangkok, forgo any trips to grandma’s hse, forgo our future.

I want to seek the shortest way out..!

Plain stupidity? Last day of the month!

sigh..these few days’ post are all abt those nonsense n sad stuffs..i have yet started my assignment and u guys shld noe how ‘lang bei’ i am..its last day of the month! i want to get rid of e unhappiness tt happened in FEB! =)))

After so long, i finally had a good chat with yuting ytd night..she told me abt her stories n i told her abt mine..guess wat? this sister of mine say im stupid! haha..she said y muz i withdraw fr the game n let e fat ass win..haha..she planned stuffs for me,asked me to ask someone to ask tt bitch out to club n she will do smth to her, n asked me to cont with the game n tagged tt bitch tag board..haha bad rite? but nv did she realise im even worst den her tt i wrote funny names for tt BHB fatty bitchy LYN in my blog..whahaha..yt..we r e same la! what im more cruel den u! u see i still COLOURED, BOLD & ITALIC her name sia..haha..(P.S i dunno y i kept having e urge to want to tell her to look herself at e mirror, perhaps she tink too highly on herself n she’s proud to hv such a ‘nice’ figure..n to BPKC i oso wonder y u want to accept her initiative to make frenz with u! juz makes me feel like puking..) well..at least i noe der r ppl who still care for me n wanna fight back for me.. Another person is my ‘gan di di’..he oso wanna fight back for me..but still i tink tt things may not be so hard..she may not end what up i wanted her to end up with..i wan to tarnish her reputation, want to bao toh her family, wan to do everything tt will make her suffer! she forced me to do tt…so any ideas how to do it readers? do let me noe k..kekeke.. well..these few days were really some terrible exchange of sms with him..i kept insisted to leave him, refused to reply him, do things tt make him hate me n make him give up, sent those msges tt make him cry n cry..but i dun do it on purpose! i juz want to escape fr everything..he created this himself..so y muz i be e one who clear everything up? but..all these ended up him doing smth stupid n he might be charged! sigh..tell me what to do..im always at e losing end..im always forced to do things..i cant hv my own life..my life is like being controlled by him..i can only suck my thumb n eat everything up..he asked me to be der for him now cos he really need me..”BUT WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED U TT TME?!!! and now u said u want to make up for me? isn’t it too late? haiz..yes i noe these few days its so terrible for him as well..he wasn’t able to book out cos of one f*cker who escaped from jail, n he didn’t hv proper meals tt ended him up in e med center and this stupid matter tt caused him to do smth stupid..thou he is sick but still hv to be deployed to search for tt prisoner..things are juz not fine not fine not fine for all of us! I really wonder why..all my faults? i guess i need some counselling..

Time for real stuffs..i still have so many work to do with so little time!!!
1) Retail individual assignment
2)AsiaPac presentation
3)Employee management individual assignment
4)Retail topical presentation & report
5)Management science Test to study
6)Retail Shop concept Report & presentation
7)Employee Management Group project & presentation
8)Asia Pac Casino report & presentation
9)Services Marketing report & presentation
10)Study Retail & Services Marketing TESTS!!!

 Now i know project-based modules isn’t that good!

My greatest hair achievement..

Some pics of my new hair style..hehex..enjoy!

When will this end???

SIGH IM SUFFERING FROM MENTAL PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL STRESS!!! i wonder when will this end? i got so many things to do yet so little time..time is running out for me..i lost interest in everything..all thanks to them..i hate her as well as i hate him..they caused me to be in this undesirable state..!

PLS GIVE ME BACK MY HAPPY LIFE!!!

I will make u hate me too..i will make u give up on me..i will do all sorts of things tt hurt myself..i will do it! i mean it! i juz hate this kind of life..i wan to escape..i wan to avoid everything..yes i noe how long can i do tt? i admit im an escapist..i got no choice..what can i do? can anyone out there understand what m i feeling? im so confused…! never in my life i experience such things until i met u..at one hand i wan to go thru this obstacle but at e other hand i feel its pointless…cos of e things u done..it makes me feel so disappointed..u said u need me..so do i? but i muz force myself not to msg or meet u again..cos i always felt so terrible when i meet u..yes i do miss u..when i dun tink of those things..i do need u too esp when im having so many deadlines to meet..who doesn’t want someone to be there for them during this period? but i dunno if u r true..i dunno to trust or believe who now…i dunno what to do now..im simply very lost..BUT…..

I KNOW I WANT TO MAKE HER SUFFER..i want her to get her retribution n get what she deserve in return for what she gave me!!! i noe im cruel or mayb very bad..but i juz dun care..Unless she fall or die..or i will be e one! F*CK U LYN & ur frenz!

im gg crazy soon! trust me..

yes im back folks..

i tot i could be happy after the trip, after spending those times. i hv a new hair style, e shortest length i could ever cut since e past 10+ yrs. probably with the encouragement of someone, i finally step into e salon n allow the director to touch my hair to his own design, without interfering how he is gg to cut. i looked satisfied with the new fresh look. i tot with this new hair style, mayb things may become better n it changed my thinking. NO IT DID NOT! it got worst. sigh.

So many things happened after i came back. Plentiful workload, projects meetings, and now i hv to deal with tt fucking bitch nonsense.! haiz..who to trust or believe? pls tell me..now i noe blogging may not be as good as ever..

To tt fucking bitch LYN: look urself at e mirror. Who u tink u are?! u r just a fucking fat bitch with a fucking ugly mole on ur face! perhaps u r some slut out there who enjoys fucking other guys after clubbing n this may be ur hobby. but let me tell u, its a disgraceful act n u spoilts e image of all gals. i did nth to u, so pls be more sensible n wake up, stop all childish acts! its a disgrace to ur parents too.!

To tt fucking bitch frenz MELISSA & WATEVER BONG OR NURA OR WHATEVER SLUTS tt belongs to the same category as BITCHY LYN: tink twice before u say. u tink BITCHY LYN is ur best fren n u hv to believe what she says? she just like to boost ard. ig u guys believe her, im so sorry for u all. cos u r in e same boat as her. juz some FUCKING BITCHY SLUTS out there. Beware of ur own image outside cos u all look extremely ugly while taking pics too!

its a waste of breath to continue their stories. God have eyes. May they deserve what they should get.i believe in retribution. =)

Well, as for you BPKC: yes i noe i still love u. but i hv to be firm. seriously i dunno who to believe. im always hurt in e end. I didn’t realise so many things after i coincidently read the blog. i noe u r one kind who will try to hide things when u scare of me. tts y its hard to believe u. what’s out sounds logical fr ur mouth. i noe u may feel heartbroken to hear this things fr someone u love. but will u be more heartpain than me? ask urself. touch ur heart. clear ur conscience. what did u actually do??? its all enough. thou its not what i want or my decision, im so scare now. there r so many unsolved problems yet more r coming up. y muz i suffer fr this kind of things when in fact it shouldn’t involve me. All thanks to all of u! I wonder how long can this last n how long i can tolerate.

God i need u now. I seriously need u to come into my life. pls control me n guide me how to handle myself now. i dun wan to end up crying alone, locking myself in e room, gg into depression,staring in e air n kept thinking those nonsense, refusing to do any work or having no appetite to eat. i need to get out of this asap or else im gonna collapse n gg CRAZY.n i really mean it ASAP! juz trust me. sooner or later.

Have a break, have a kit kat!

Hi all..yea! in an hour times’ i will be away..away from this stressful place..will be gg overseas again..hehex..tt means i wun be blogging for e past few days..

cya guys! take care! *Shoooooooo* =)

Leave me alone..

i see no reason why u did that..stop all excuses..
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Juz leave me alone..!

I can’t take it anymore..!

GO AWAY..!

i need a break..! its PLASTER DAY!

sigh im so so so tired..juz finished n handed in my individual assignment on Tuesday which is yesterday..! RELIEVED!!! a moment of truth, tt was e most stressful 6-page assignment tt i ever done in my life..can u imagine i did it till 630 in e morning and only slp for 30 mins and off i go to sch..i didn’t really prepare for my presentation too..! it was terrible i guess but i dunno y the tutor say it’s well done..haha..yes i muz thank him! Thanks him for helping me with the assignment..i appreciate it cos he’s so so tired too..

During the night, went pai nian again..Went to his hse to pai nian n i was so paiseh lor..i dunno y..i saw his sis too..i didn’t call her only show some expression n said bye..it was awkward..pls tell me wat to do?!? after tt went to yuting hse to pai nian with her mummy..amelin went to..cos she need me to teach her statistics..she’s having her exams..hopefully she can score well..we played, joked, chatted, ate and do all sorts of things other than studying..it was fun..i miss those times..now all of us like busy n drifted..i hope we can still be as close..

well..i taught till 2+am..den went home..Thanks to him again for fetching me back..he’s worried for my safety too..i thank him for everything.. =)

Today went school for career planning seminar..i hate it..cos i hv to wear formal clothes n shoes..den i hv blisters again! tts y i call every wed as PLASTER DAY! hehex..anyway nvm la..today its e last 2nd lesson..haha..after tt im free on wed..! on e way to sch, e moment was terrible..it reminds me of e usual worries also..it makes me so paranoid tt i dun wish to contact him anymore..i wanna stay a distance fr him..i juz cant accept it..its hard..so many weeks hv passed but im still so so affected…many tots falshed thru my mind..so many WHYS WHYS WHYS?
Why must he hurt me?
Why must he ignore me tt tme?
Why must he leave me alone when im having my exams?
Why must he do things tt makes me hate him?
Why must tt girl appear?
Why must he dragged me down?
Why must he cause us to be like strangers during his bday?
Why must he makes me think so much?
Why must he make me CRY CRY CRY?
Why must he cause me to be drunk n luckily i got out of some danger?
Why must he come back now n make me so scare?
WHY WHY WHY!!!

haiz..i dunno..i really need a break..next week is my term break..suppose to be holiday..but it ain’t..cos i still hv to go back sch for projects! sigh..but i dun care..im going MALAYSIA tml!!! haha..i wanna re-stress! =)

suddenly feel like uploading some unrelated pics.. =)

So many things..So little TIME!

Sigh..i’ve been practically sighing for last week n i guess it remains e same for this week..

-Services Marketing individual assignment handed in tml..10 articles!!!! OMG!!!

-Services Marketing presentation presenting tml..

-Services Marketing report on dunno which day..so many tt i lost track of them..

-Retail Entrep report on Sat..

-Retail Entrep topical assignment on Sat..

-Retail Entrep individual report on 2 March..

-Asia Pac Proj on Casino

-Asia Pac presentation on next next week..

-Employee Management proj on Mon..

-Employee Management presentation on week 7..

-Management Science Mid-term tests on Mon..

SIGH I NEED A BREAK!!!! PROJECTS ARE KILLING & SUFFOCATING ME!!!

I NEED HELP!!! PLS HELP ME!!! or bring me a knife! =(

This is wat i will do when im stress.. =)

Stress..!!!

well…time past so fast..its alr last week of school before term break..and i have so many things to be done with so little time..sigh..

15th Feb 2008

Discuss projects in school..attended lessons with such a tired mood..btw my cyber shot phone spoilt! i have no idea how come it spoilt..so dun ask me..i juz took it out from my bag, trying to msg someone in e middle of e lecture n i saw a blank screen on it..thus i tried to ‘on’ it again yet i cant..i knocked it against the table, wall, shake it n asked many of my frenz to help me try ‘on’ing’ e phone, still it CANT! haha..its like less than 6 mths since he bought it n now it alr on its way to heaven i guess..well..hv to tk it for servicing but i got no time! so meanwhile back to my E65 phone for e time being..n im not used to msging using NOKIA phone! haha..

Planned to go JB tt day but i was too tired..Ended up having Maggie Mee at home..sigh! but it was great cos im e one who cooked it..haha..

16th Feb 2008

Fetch my mum to Yishun to my relatives’ hse..Played mahjong over der with the adults..GOSH! i sat there for merely 4 hrs n yet i only win $13..such pathetic sum! n i hv to suffer fr backside n back ache..haha..worth it? i dunno..

Went back home, prepared for tuition..On e way, Auntie Khoo called me!!! haha..she’s so heartwarming n nice of her..here’s e conversation..
Me: Helloz..
Yuting: Sharon, y aren’t u here…?
Me: Oh i juz left fr my relatvies’ hse..Going back to teach tuition now..
Yuting: Oh..When r u coming? Auntie misses u so much..
(Auntie Khoo took over the phone)
Auntie: Xue renn…..When r u coming to visit Auntie? New Year so long le..Why haven come Auntie’s hse pai nian??? (excited tone)
Me: Oh..Auntie..I went to my relatives’ hse cos tt tme i went Melaka..so nv go to their hse..
Auntie: Oh..den come today ok? Auntie wait for u..
Me: (Gan Jiong) Oh ok..but i can only go after my tuition lesson..ard 830..
Auntie: Oh tts late..but nvm..juz come..call me!

haha..it was so heartwarming rite? i love her so much..she’s someone who really take care of me other than my mum..it’s so nice of her everytime to do things for me..yet i like disappoint her..she’s a nice mum n she treated me like her own daughter..we can talk abt everything under the sun..gg for movie tgt..gg overseas..taking photos..gg for coffee session..discussin abt life issues…everything!

Thus, after my tuition, i took a cab down to her hse to pai nian with her n Uncle Khoo..well..they ordered buffet n kept asking me to eat..Auntie even da bao salad for me n my family..hehez..gambling session at her hse with Auntie’s relatives..many of whom i alr knew..haha..such close bonding..i love this kind of gathering..like u r feeling so close to them yet not shy or paiseh abt anything..

Went Xinyu’s hse after tt to pai nian with her mum..Gosh her mum is so HOT! very long nv c her mum le..quite heartwarming oso..her mum used to take care of me too..when i used to stay at her hse last time..still got TOTO oso..haha. so fun..oh yah..thanks xinyu for her bday gifts I LOVE THEM very much..haha

He came n meet me, fetch me home, put down my things..My dad at the living room..he saw him..i tot nth happen or ok le..my dad suddenly ask him whr he’s gg n tt he needs to tok to him..OMG..tt moment come alr..i dunno y my dad choose to heart talk with him in front of me..not tt i say he cant talk to him but do it behind me! i was so wad..dunno whr to hide..so i went to my mum’s room..n talk to my mum..e conversation outside was so tense..yet he kept quiet it was my dad who talks..sigh..after tt i managed to pull him away n out we went..In e car, he cried suddenly..he was scare after hearing wad my dad says..haiz i dunno how to say..cos at one hand..when we r nt tgt, my dad n mum n everyone was der for me..now if i go back to him n if any case anything  happens, who will be der for me again? im in a dilemna..sigh…

Wet JB for Lok Lok supper and back home again…

17th Feb 2008

Woke up, feeling so uneasy..wordless, clueless…
Mum’s relatives came to my hse..yet i was in e room..blogging, researching, surfing, chatting n day-dreaming..still so affected by the previous night..

SIGH..thinking abt my upcoming projects deadlines, i feel so much like giving up!!!

ok..think its time for me to start on my project..STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!